Question - stereotypes.

[marita_c]

From the world of totally random questions for my writing project:

An army General (nice guy, but probably sleeps in his uniform) as a top in a gay BDSM relationship - too stereotypical?  (pretend you saw it on TV, as unlikely as that sounds... Would you find it annoying? Offensive?)  

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

I might have a hard time believing it. Not a lot of people want to be that responsible for other people all the damn time both on the job and off of it.

[marita-c.livejournal.com]

I haven't even considered than angle, thanks. Although army men are often portrayed in the media as being very controlling in the home setting as well (perhaps that is why I'm afraid of the stereotype).

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think that's sometimes true, but if you're saying he's a nice guy. Also, people usually don't rise that high in the military if they don't understand their issues and know how to keep from bringing the job home.

I would need an argument for why this isn't an extension of his work and why it's relaxing for him.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Sure!

It could go either way; I could see him as submissive because he has enough of "being in charge" at work or as dominant because well, some people are promoted because they like being in charge of things and are good at it.

(Not that submissive people aren't "in charge" of the scene too, but you know.)

If you need a military picker, let me know. :)

[marita-c.livejournal.com]

I would have preferred to have him as submissive, because the whole "letting go of responsibilities" think would work very well. Unfortunately, having the other guy as the top messes with my plot... I'll give it some more thought.

And oooh!!!! yes please!!! do you have military experience? Is there a name for the caps that go with formal uniforms? i.e., the firm ones, not berets. I have so many questions!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Service cap!

Or bus-driver cap, in the slangy vernacular.

Yup, I'm a veteran. Not Army, but I know about the Army. :D

The dominant setup could be that he was dominant when he was a younger guy -- a lieutenant, or in college, maybe -- when he didn't have other power, really, and found it suited him.

[marita-c.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Nice idea. This relationship is mostly implied in the story, and rarely addressed directly. Is it common for someone to alternate between top and bottom in these kind of relationships? I know that in casual relationships ("friends with benefits") one partner often seeks the other with a specific role in mind.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I don't know!

I think xtricks may have more data/insights about D/s stuff among men; he's written a lot of it. :)

[temporal-witch.livejournal.com]

Speaking as an employee of the Dept of Defense, and working directly with the Army (including officers out the ass), I'd have to say it'd be more likely said general would be submissive at least half the time, probably more. It's pretty common for someone who has power and responsibility weighing heavily on him during work hours to want to shuck it off at every opportunity, just to have a chance to let someone else take charge for a change.

Just saying. ☺

[marita-c.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... That seems to be the consensus... how unexpected :D

Looks like some dramatic plot changes are in order. Thank you.

And OMG, DOD??? can I use you for research, pretty please?? I'm writing about a military operation, DOD satellites, etc., and I have no idea what I'm talking about :P

[temporal-witch.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're completely welcome!

Of course! I'll help in any way I can, providing it's within my lane of knowledge (or if it can be found - it's amazing what information can be found if you know how to look for it) and not sensitive information that could get me jailed. lol Only ask and I'll see what I can do.

I also can help with military-speak. It's another language altogether, and I'm quite fluent in it. :-)

[marita-c.livejournal.com]

Really REALLY appreciate it. Prepare to be bugged repeatedly.

You can definitely skip sensitive info, it only needs to SOUND authentic ;)

[jo02]

I'd have to say, like several people above me, that I would find it more believable - for me - for the general to be a submissive. And I would find it really hot, if it were done right, for the top to be someone also in uniform, but of a lower, or the lowest rank.

*goes off to that happy place briefly*

Yes, please write it that would work for me :)

[marita-c.livejournal.com]

:D yeah, that does sound hot. Thanks for the insight. The other guy works on base, but is actually a civilian. It'll be funny because he's doing his boss's boss (commander, whatever).